The Person I Find Hard to Help

Let's talk about this person I've known for almost my whole life. Actually, there's this group of us. We can be considered quite close cause we see each other quite often. This particular person I'll be talking about, I'll name her J.

Okay, I'm not THT close to her compared to how close I am with the rest of them. The reason why, is because J hardly mingles with us tht much due to her own reasons. The thing here is, among all of us, she's the least favourite one. Everyone talks about her, mostly the OTHER 3. In the beginning, I got myself to agree with whtever the rest were saying about her because it all seemed true. Sometimes, I have to say tht she somehow deserved all tht. It's just all quite complicating. BUT nowadays, I find myself in the position where I'm there when she's being mocked/hated/gossiped about and I disagree with whtever tht was being 'discussed'.

The scenario here is that, the other 3, somehow has something against her, more than anyone else in the whole wide world and I don't really know why. Recently, the same thing happened. J was being gossiped about. It's was SO hard for me because J was actually right beside me when one of the other 3, I'll name her L, messaged me and talked about her (she was beside me too. I was basically in the middle of them). It's hard to believe, but yeah tht happened. At the same time, J was telling me about how disappointed she was with L because of how much she has changed and all tht. When I read the msg, L actually said that she hates J. It's just SO wrong because at that time, J sounded like she cares for L but at the same time L's telling me how much she despises J and why.

One more thing, the other 3 I was talking about, they would text each other, pass the phone among themselves in front of the rest of us, giggle and whisper like there aren't anyone around. I find that really rude and uncivilised. How do you expect people to react when tht happens almost everytime there's an outing together? Most of the time, they'll talk about J. I know tht because sometimes they'll show me wht they typed down. I feel like I shoud tell them off, saying tht whtever they're doing is just completely wrong but another part of me would just wanna remain silent and not get involved in any way. J's obviously the victim in this whole issue. Everytime I see her when there's an outing together, I'll think of the things she was gossiped about and it all seemed very wrong and there's just nothing I can do about it. I feel sorry for J.

I even hate myself for being dragged into their conversation whenever they want to have one about J. There was another time when we were all called into a room, by the other 3 of them to gossip about J. "Sharon, faster come in. Lock the door." When I've entered, they told me, "we're gossiping about J." *giggles* UGH! I find that so disgusting and the worst part is, I sat with them throughout the whole 'session'.

They know VERY WELL that gossiping is wrong but yet they talk like as if they did not have any conscience at all! When I keep quiet during their 'session', I'll be asked if I agree with them. All I could do was give a nonchalant smile/laugh.

I can't stand up for J nor can I stand up for what I believe in. I have no idea what I should do the next time it happens again and trust me, tht wouldnt be far from now. Sigh.

Guess tht's all I'm willing to share. Lol, this so sounds like as I'm writing to Thelma of The Star.

p/s: GOSSIPING IS REALLY BAD FOR YOURSELF AND ALSO OTHERS BECAUSE IN THE END, YOU'LL COME TO REALISE THAT THE REAL LOSER IS NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU. (I'm not saying that I don't gossip)

p/s: The post above has nothing to do with the grp of friends I have in school.


signing off - paperbag