What I hate people do (and I do)

I hate it when I'm dragged into your issues.

I hate you for making me the middleman between you.

I hate you for laughing at me when I'm being serious.

I hate you for rubbing into my face of what I don't have.

I hate you for turning things around and making yourself sound like the victim.

I hate having to ask you.

I hate myself for the way I deal with problems. Which is by not dealing with it at all.

I hate myself for resorting to temporary highs to get over it.

I hate myself for not feeling.

And lastly,

I hate that I have so many things to hate.

Anyway-Martina McBride

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anywayI do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway

Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway

Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

too close for comfort

... and so, it is like that one song you fall in love with. That one song you come across by chance. Then, it becomes that one song you choose not to listen to over and over again, just so you will never get tired of it.

But then again, it is on repeat.

Only to realize, that you can listen to it over and over again. All day long, all week, all year round even. Anytime, at any given day. And find that it never grows old. You say, it feels like heaven.

Serendipity, they say.

I, simply just never want to face the truth.

<3

The Cinema Experience

I was just remembering the cinema incident and thought of blogging about it. Remember how traumatizing it was sharon and cy??

Anywayy, cy, sharon and me went to watch Paul Blart: Mall cop awhile back at bukit tinggi cinema. Because cy came late, we all ended up getting seats near the front. And we had the corner area, so cy sat next to the aisle, sharon in the middle with me on her left. When I turned to see who was sitting on the other side of me, I saw two small boys. While the trailers were going on, this little buggers got up and went in front and exchanged their seats with two big buggers. So now I had 2 big nuts next to me. Everything was going fine.

Until one of the buggers next to me SUDDENLY bursts out laughing explosively. Right after that, another idiot laughs even louder at the other side of the cinema. Hearing that, my seat mate gives out another bellowing noisy laugh. This goes on.

They were having a FUCKING LAUGHING COMPETITION. Right in the middle of a public cinema.

The first time he laughed, I nearly jumped out of my seat in shock. I looked at Sharon, her mouth open with popcorn falling. And the 2nd time he did it, I was getting annoyed already.

Immediately after that, he leans towards me and whispers "Eh you mind ah, if i laugh like this loud? Can ah?"

WTF U WANT ME TO SAYYY???? OF CORSE I MIND LA U BLOODY JAKUN!!!

But i just kept calm and said "It be better if you didn't".
"Oh yessar? Sorry sorry". And then he comes even closer and offers his bucket of popcorn to me (as a peace offering??). I decline and he practically comes on top of my lap to offer Sharon, whose next to me, the popcorn. Sharon just turns away. And he continues holding the damn popcorn until I push it away and say "It's ok. We already have popcorn".

Do u see how civilised I am to crazy nutjobs like this??

So we continue watching our movie. Since it was a comedy, every friggin second was punctuated with those idiots competing with each others laughing volume. I could hear cy, beside sharon, going Shhhh Shhhhh! But obviously, such kampung ppl don't understand stuff like this.

And then later on, as I lift my ice lemon tea from the holder to drink, the idiot immediately grabs his drink and holds it up towards me.
"Cheers!!" he announces brightly.
Walawehhh, how tak tahu malu can u be? He continues to wait for my response so I quickly touch my drink to his and mutter cheers.

When the movie was over, cy, sharon and me jump out of our seats and run out of the cinema.

Like a glass vase

Ugh. I feel so disappointed with myself. As it is, it's already so hard to earn my parents confidence in me and I so carelessly and stupidly broke that trust. I don't know how long its gonna take to redeem myself in their eyes again. Sigh.

ps: Sharonnnnn! how ur parents trust u to go out even after u break ur curfew sooo many times?? haha

tick tock

To live your life with true meaning, or to just sweep off challenges life throws at you because complacency becomes a big part of you that moving forward and making a difference seem like a thousand miles away.


"It's alright to lose yourself sometimes, it's just how you find what makes you, you again."

What is that one thing you would never compromise with, that one thing you will want to leave behind once life sweeps you off its course?


What is your one true purpose in life?

I found me again

You know, sometimes, being the heartless, selfish bitch can be the best thing that ever happened to you. You don’t get yourself in a situation where your emotions are strongly involved so you rarely get hurt. And that saves you helluva lot of pain and trouble.

And just say you decide to open up for once, and you end up getting hurt, but you know you can easily move on. Just like that line from Kanye’s single Stronger; “That don’t kill me, can only make me stronger”. So you made a mistake. Everyone does. But you learn from your past experiences knowing that you have the power to change what happens next.

And there are always going to be losers who’ll try to cause problems for you just to defend their ego. But why care what they think? You don’t change who you are just to fit in. You own your life, you don’t live it for others. So go ahead and set your standards high and don’t compromise your principles for anyone. When you know you deserve more, don’t settle for anything less. Don’t ever undermine your self-worth cause you are and always will be perfection.

you make it real-james morrison

it's been so long since we last have 'pillow talk'.

i think we should have sleepovers!

i miss those times...!

you all made me realise something so important that i've long forgotten.

-ywen-

Here I come again!

I'm gonna start like this,

Do you people know who I am? I'm not gonna insert my name at the bottom of the post but I think some knows it's me. It's been really really long and I just drop by to put some live into this blog we built many years ago.

Coming to think of the past, I think I kinda miss it. The times where we sneak out of the backdoor and run to canteen, or toilet, or someone elses class just to skip that bloody subject that is sooo boring, or even order McD and eat at the back of the class. But right now in college, you don't wanna miss anything the lecturer has to say because every single thing is important, agree?







The days when Sharon and Jay had short hair. Haha!


Then now, we all feel "grown up" and we miss our past! Just like that, many many years have past and now we are nineteen!



Friendship will never die, but will real ones live till the end? That's what we will want to find out!

=)

viva forever

we're all grown up and changed.

changed in so many ways!

in a good or bad way i dont know la

but we're all grown up. and changed. =)

-guess who-

Broken Strings-James Morrison and Nelly Furtado

I couldnt help myself, I had to post this. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. It's so deep and I can actually relate to it. Well, just to some parts la haha :D

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything
When I love you , it's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

(pre-chorus)
Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

(chorus)
You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

(pre-chorus)

(chorus)

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late, too late

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real
Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
So how can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?
Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before


Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

PISSED!




PISSED!!!!



PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!! (cant the font get larger than this???)



ughhh. bad mood. sorryyyy

-bex-

*big silly grin*

call me random, but i suddenly had this urge to just say....




I LOVE ALL OF YOU GIRLS SO VERY MUCH!

*big wet sloppy kisses*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

aduh.

Steer.

Would you allow your upbringing to determine who you become, or will you take that extra mile to figure that out on your own?

:)

ps: this isnt emo, it isn't! HELLO, got difference one k. nyaha.


xx, sharon.

A sense of contentment

you know, though sometimes i dont feel like going for our 'friday nights', i always come home feeling happy and satisfied.

yall realise we've never spend our friday nights not laughing like some mad cows? lol

and this blog is not closing down. our frenship is still going strong so why should this blog be closed down? u crazy??

btw, we had bbq at jay's. dont have pictures though. cuz im really fat and flabby now and i was really busy with food.

we were actually planning to go genting but it was cancelled cuz they coludnt book a room on the weekends and i have class on friday. so it was kinda cuz of me that the plan was cancelled. BUT we're planning on a road trip!!!!!!!!! so stay tuned... more updates coming soon. haha


-ywen-

Eh, hello.

yala quite sad, only these two pictures are up and tht also, they're from last year's christmas. better than nothing, the previous post is probably killing whoever that's left that still comes here to check if there're new updates (if you all have not already given up). there wasn't even ONE post since 2009 started! so i thought i'd just put up some pictures and while looking through my folder, i cant even find ONE picture taken since January this year. or it's because we never get those pictures taken from the camera. bloody hell.

but we're all still alive and kickin'. meeting up tonight. friday mar.

goodbye! or farewell :O

it's my rerun.

since when was The Fray so easy to relate to. they've ALWAYS been my all-time favourite but i haven't been listening to them for a while now.
so the other day while driving home, i heard their new single on radio and so i went home putting them on replay again. Isaac Slade's voice is to die for. it was like as if he was singing about/to me HAHA. one can only dream, shaddup lah.


You swear you recall nothing at all
That could make you come back down
You made up your mind to leave it all behind
Now you're forced to fight it out

You left something undone, it's now your rerun
It's the one you can't erase
You should have made it right, so you wouldn't have to fight
To put a smile back on your face

You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away
You fall away

--

now, this song is on replay.
and i should've told u this last night, but i didn't. instead, all i told you was complete utter bullshit.


have a great new year everyone!
xx.

p/s: do u think im making swipe a lil too personal (i dont even have to type my name because i know you know who types like this by now). of course i'm the only one doing it because everyone else has their own blog and i refuse to make one. but it feels like it shouldn't be! dammit. everyone blog personal stuff also laaa. heh.

i miss you guys!




edit (totally unrelated) : feels good to know yet not know sometimes.

the aftermath.

it was a greaaaattttt time with the girls today during christmas dinner. it has to be something we'll never forget (not forgetting, the crazy recordings we made afterwards). it was made of good food, good laughters, GREAT PEOPLE! haha. they all went home around 1am.

i'm not exactly aware of what im saying right now ; ) but i know it's 4.20 am now and i still have company at home. probably McD's at 8am later, i don't know.

floats, floats, floats. that's what late nights make you feel.

harharhar wth. pictures of dinner will be up soon! pressure ywen :D

love you girls! <3,
sharon.

still going strong

while i was reading the old posts, i can't help feeling so freaking glad that things turned out so much better than how we thought back then. we thought all of us are not gonna be close n stuffs anymore. yea, we're not THAT close anymore but we're close enough. everyone of us still try to make it for our friday nights and we still know what's happening around all of us.

we have new friends, new groups, new interests, everything. but deep down, we know that our main friends are the ones who were there when we were so childish and CRAZY. they're the ones who had seen so many flaws and had misunderstood one another so many times but are still here with us. i hope this group of friends will still be this way in many years to come.

we've showed the world and proved to ourselves that changes cant change the friendship we shared. and we'll continue to do that. i hope.

it's been a year now since we left high school. we've had our ups and downs. we've argued and made up. we've been angry with each other and have forgiven one another. we've learnt so much together. we've learnt to let go some stuffs and hang on to some. and we've all grown up!

and the best thing is we're all still friends. close friends.


it feels a lil weird now that im talking about this like how we used to back then. a lil childish also. haha.. but i realised that we dont talk about it as often anymore.. so why not! i dont mind pple saying stuffs behind. im proud to tell the world that i have the best group of friends ever!

but actually, i've not grown much also la.. im still as childish. err, but i've grown a LIL wider lar. and more flabby. LOL

anyways, we were out to celebrate Jay's birthday today. pictures will be up soon! i hope.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, JAY!!!

-ywen-

till it happens to you.

Sometimes we search for the deepest things but at the end of the day, it is who really are, that we seek for. We seek for independence and freedom and sometimes we seek life's motivation to continue living. We seek for reasons to live because sometimes life gets to us at our lowest point.
Sometimes we feel afraid, but it's alright. Because that's what keeps us going. We learn to let go of things, because we know we have to move forward in hopes that there are so many things ahead awaiting for us. We have that tiny speck of hope and faith that there are bigger things ahead and letting go of the things now would bring us a greater future.

So sometimes we ask, what if there isn't. What if we end up being wrong about all the perceptions we might have right now. What if we already have what we are supposed to have but thinking there might be something bigger out there, made us decide on the biggest mistake of our life.

So. What if? Because you and I, we never know.

--

There's a little truth between those words we've spoken
Don't ask me where I'm heading
Because I don't know anymore.

Life's ALL about seeking : )


<3, sharon.